Well, Matlock is going to the fraternity conference with me today... I am a little nervous, but I think it will be fine. I guess what makes me nervous is that the fraternity is something that is really personal to me. Most people I am with don't understand my dedication to the group or why I spend the time doing what I do. Especially when I complain about it...hehehe.

Anyway, he is picking me up and we are making the drive. I will let you know what happens.

Tony just let me know that there is a shell of an apartment (no walls, no bathrooms, no kitchen, nothing) available for $800. He seems really excited about it, I am very nervous about it. He is going to look at it on Sunday.

OK, I officially deserve whatever happens to me...

After the disasterous date with Matlock the other day, I decided to give him another shot (everyone acts stupid sometimes right?). Since then we have had 2 completely sober dates, that have been really fun, one we went to Gameworks and watched monday night football *grabs crotch and spits*, and then last night he came over to watch the Redsox beat the Cardinals asses in what would be the last game of the World Series. I made some pasta and sauce, and we just cuddled up on the couch.

Most people thinks he is dumb or boring or unentertaining... and I must admit, I did as well at first. But as I have spent more time with him, I have found him to be very intelligent and amazingly funny... the problem is most people write him off from the start and don't realize that his humor is really dry and he says things with this straight face so you don't know he is playing. Last night I found myself yelling at him about some political things that I thought he was being legitimately foolish about, when he interrupted me and said in the same tone "are you always this discriminatory against bisexual Nazi Jews?" and cracked the slightest grin. He had been joking the whole time and I was the one that looked silly cuz I took him seriously (which he got great amusement from)...

Anyway, we will see where this all goes... so far so good. But if there is really supposed to be a spark, it isn't here yet... I don't get all giddy or anything when he comes around yet, but I suppose that could come in time. He is cute as hell, and the closest thing to a spark that I get is a hard on when he kisses me... I suppose that is a good start.

So, Tony and I just looked at an AMAZING apartment!!!

It was a 2 bedroom apartment in a historic building on 4th Street. The building has a gym, on-site laundry, secure buzzer-entry system. The layout was really unique... with 8 huge windows in the front of the apartment, a GIANT kitchen, a very large dining area, 2 living room areas, about 600 closets, 2 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, a lovely courtyard, a rooftop deck, and a parking lot. All of this for $800/month (we currently pay $600). It is literally right around the corner from Tonys work as well as where I catch the bus for work. It is also within stumbling distance to the Dock and Pipeline (both places where Tony performs most of the time, and I get tore up most of the time) . The biggest selling point for me is that it is exponentially more safe than where we are right now.

I know Tony is moving slowly to avoid rash decisions, but I REALLY hope he takes this apartment...

So I had a first date last night with a guy that is friends with Skippy (we will call him Matlock)... He seemed nice enough, but I was warned that he had a bit of a drinking problem. We went to see Tony perform at Hamburger Mary's, and had a great time, but I was having a sober evening... Needless to say, I wasn't super outgoing or anything. We walked with Tony back to my apartment, where we sat around talking for a bit, and I was settling into the "low-key" mood. He asked if I still wanted to go to The Dock (a local dance club) I said I didn't. He said he still wanted to go, and asked if I would go with him. I reluctantly agreed, cuz I wanted to hang out with him some more. When we arrived at the club, he immediately went to the bar to get a drink. He came back to me and handed me a beer (which I really didn't want) and he disappeared. Luckily Skippy was there and kept me company. Matlock would occasionally walk past me and smile and move on to other friends to talk to. The bar was really crowded and I should point out, that I hate night clubs cuz I don't like when they get too busy cuz I get pushed and bumped and touched and it really drives me insane. At 2:30am, I asked Skippy if he would take me home if Matlock wasn't ready to leave... He of course said he would be happy to. I flagged down Matlock as he was talking to 2 fairly attractive anorexic boys, and told him I really needed to get out of the club, and asked if he minded leaving. He was very obviously drunk, and he said he wanted to stay. I told him that Skippy would take me home, but that his coat was still at my house. I asked him what he wanted to do, he said he was going home with the skinny boys, and he would call me Sunday (today) for his coat. I was more than a little pissed off, and definitely hurt a bit. Skippy tried to make me feel better about the situation saying that it was just how Matlock behaves when he gets drunk. Skippy said he would probably try call me to ask if he could stay at my house so he wouldn't have to drive all the way back to BFE where he lives. Skippy told me that I shouldn't answer.

Skippy was right... 10 minutes after getting into my apartment, he called. Apparently the skinny boys decided he couldn't stay with them. He wanted to come over and "talk". He was very apologetic. I told him if he just wanted to come over so he didn't have to drive home, that he was welcome, he didn't need to go through the "I'm so sorry" song and dance. He carried on, and I let him stay (I wasn't going to let him drive drunk all the way back to his own house). Anyway, he spent most of the day with me and had brunch with my friends... When he finally went home, I had a mini-lecture from Tony... Basically asking what I was doing... I could only say I was a bit more pathetic and desperate than I was willing to talk about. I dunno what to do... I am definitely feeling the lyrics to this song from the musical Side Show. *sigh*

Like a fish plucked from the ocean
Tossed into a foreign stream
Always knew that I was different
Often fled into a dream
I ignored the raging current
Right against the tide I swam
But I floated with the question
Who will love me as I am?

Like an odd exotic creature
On display inside a zoo
Hearing children asking questions
Makes me ask some questions too
Could we bend the laws of nature?
Could a lion love a lamb?
Who could see beyond this surface?
Who will love me as I am?

Who will ever call to say I love you?
Send me flowers or a telegram?
Who could proudly stand beside me?
Who will love me as I am?

Like a clown whose tears cause laughter
Trapped inside the center ring
Even seeing smiling faces
I am lonely pondering

Who would want to join this madness?
Who would change my monogram?
Who will be part of my circus?
Who will love me as I am?

Who will ever call to say I love you?
Send me flowers or a telegram?
Who could proudly stand beside me?
Who will love me as I am?

Full Of Hate

I have had kind of a hateful day... I hate my neighborhood, I hate Cincinnati, I hate human beings lack of respect for other lives, I hate my current station in life.

Now for some background on all the hate... I have a brilliant apartment, Tony had a lovely place before I ever got here, but since I have been here, we have done more to it and he has definately made sure that I feel like it is my home too. Inside this apartment, we have created a sanctuary that is safe, comfortable, relaxing, warm, nearly perfect. Unfortunately, our apartment sits in a horrible neighborhood. Nine months ago, I was beat up by a total stranger, because of the color of my skin. Six months ago, one of the co-owners of a bar 2 doors down from my building had his face blown off by an angry customer with a gun. Two months ago, those owners sold their bar to a man who owned a bar that the city shut down for violence and drugs...since then every night at 2:30am we are awakened by fights and screaming as the bars force everyone out at closing. Two months ago, 2 thugs beat a homeless man repeatedly over the head with a bottle and a stick, across the street from my building. One month ago, I watched as the "ghetto children" started busting bottles over each others heads in the middle of the day. Last night, there was a fight at closing time, and a guy was getting his head litterally jumped on... the guy attacking him wouldn't stop, he was just kicking and jumping up and down on this mans face. A girl in the apartment next door to mine (but up one floor) thought it wise to fire her gun in the air to disperse the crowd and get the police faster. The man that was beat up is in intensive care and in critical condition, the attacker was arrested for felonious assault, and the girl hid in her apartment to avoid the police finding out it was her (discharging a firearm in the city is a felony). I got little sleep, all I could hear was the gunshot everytime I closed my eyes. Tonight I didn't walk down to meet friends for drinks cuz I didn't want to walk by myself. Today, I spent the day in the coffee house cuz the girls that own it are major reason that I love the neighborhood... they are like my human security blanket.

I have commented before about how if something doesn't happen in Tony's world, then it doesn't exist to him. He has never noticed the things that go on in the neighborhood, because he is not here as much as I am, and he is largely oblivious... things might affect him briefly as they happen (like when I got beat up) but they quickly fade from his mind. I think the gunshot outside his window changed his oblivious view of the neighborhood. In his blog he talked about instinctually rolling away from the window in fear of stray bullets (we couldn't tell where the shots were coming from, just that they were VERY close).

I have to move.

There are not really any neighborhoods downtown (I won't live in the suburbs) that are free from stupid behavior. I want to leave this city, but can't really go anywhere without another job lined up... cuz I don't like this job enough to justify commuting to Cincinnati for work.

Tony made the point that he thinks walking up to someone and blowing them away is far less heinous of a crime that jumping up and down on someones face, beating them to within an inch of their life. I am glad that they made an arrest, but sadly if this man doesn't die, the perp's punishment is going to be minimal compared to the pain and permanent damage he caused to this guy. I don't understand where the lack of respect for other human life has gone. Funny, maybe you don't learn to respect it the way that Tony or I do, until you have been in our position of nearly losing your own.

I am very sad, and frustrated right now, and have to be very careful to not make reactionary decisions based on my emotions... *sigh* I can't even call my mom to talk to her about it, she would fuckin freak out... and she is who I usually use as a sounding board to make sure I am doing the right thing. Who knows... I could sure use a cuddle buddy tonight.

wow, I am a walking oxymoron... (keep your comments about being a moron to yourself)

I would not say I am a huge baseball fan, I have never been to a real game, and I have only watched handful of games on tv... but lately, I have really been getting into it. Last night, I stayed up really late to watch the last 3 (of 14) innings of the Yankees/Red Sox series. It all started last year, I was in Boston for the last two games of the playoffs, and I decided to go downtown and watch the games in a pub...just cuz it sounded like fun. I LOVED IT!!! So this year, I have watched a few games, and this trip has been over several of the playoff games... my flight crew has been keeping me up on the games as they listen to them on the radio... Then last night we met in my room with a twelve pack to watch the rest of the game. It was so much fun. Some background: my capt. and fo are both ex army helicopter pilots from the outer banks of NC... they are as redneck as they come and not fond of the queers. So as the game was ending and we were finishing up the last of the beer, I said I had to get online to see if a boy was online that I had been chatting to. They both nearly fell over, in all the excitement of the game, they forgot that I was gay (the FO actually said nearly those exact words). He then said "but don't you do drag?" I said I did... he said "Brother, you are a walking oxymoron" I jokingly told him I was impressed that a hillbilly like him knew what that word was. We all laughed and I sent them on their way.

This morning, I saw the FO for breakfast, and he told me he was sorry if he offended me last night... he didn't mean any harm. I assured him it took a lot more than that to offend me, and that I understood exactly what he meant. I don't fit the mold of what most people view gay people to be... I enjoy lots of things that don't have anything to do with my sexuality. I jokingly told him that just cuz I take it in the ass doesn't mean I don't like a good beer and a game. He turned bright red and laughed... then said I should come to his football parties, I told him that he should be careful how he sais things like that... boys will assume things, but that I would have to decline cuz I didn't have anything to wear. Again we laughed, and he said, I was just saying I am sorry that I had judged you earlier just cuz your gay... you are just like a normal guy.

AWWW, the straight boy realized he was being dumb... give him cookie... hehehe on second thought give me a cookie...

So last night was a good time, Tony and I met with some friends for dinner, which we have all been saying that we were going to do, it just took Tony to actually coordinate it. I invited an online friend along to dinner, always doing my part to widen the circle of friends. Anyway, following dinner we all went to shooters to watch the court show (the low point of the evening) I finally had to leave... I stayed to watch Truly's first number, then I was like, Im OUT!

I hit it over to the Dock, where Skippy and I partied like rock stars until nearly 4am... He kept trying to get me to hook up with these boys who had no interest in me, or the ones that did, showed too much interest in the liquor before me... Needless to say, I went home alone, and now I am just packing for my trip. I will be out of town for 4 days this time... nothing exciting though, except for maybe Boston (I think I go there on this trip... who knows, they all run together)

Well, the show is over, and went fairly well... All I can say with any certainty is that I looked good. I am rarely ever pleased with my performance, and the crowd was not giving much money to anyone, but I still left with a fair amount of tips (granted mostly from my friends that came out to support me).

I was so glad that Tony came along, but I felt bad for keeping him up so late on a work night... Right before my second number he says "they are not tipping anyone, so just go out there and perform, don't worry about the tips" and so I was workin my number (or feeling like the number was workin me) and no one was tipping. Where I come from you show appreciation for entertainers by tipping them. So when not making any money, one would assume that one is not appreciated. But the crowd was dancin and into the number. I was getting really discouraged and I looked around for a familiar face, and I saw Tony in the back row, behind a slew of Lesbians smiling at my perfomance... it was VERY reassuring. I asked him how I did, cuz I have known Tony long enough to know that he won't lie when asked a direct question. He said it was great. I told him I didn't think I did so well, and he told me I was foolish. So, hopefully, everyone else thought so. I will let you know how it all plays out.

OK, maybe a little nervous...

So tomorrow, is my "guest spot" at the Yadda Club... basically, this is drag-speak for audition. Unfortunately for the last year, I have really only done court shows, and really have not had a good response. After my long success in Vegas, this was a pretty harsh reality for me, and really impacted my decision to not audition before now... I was afraid of getting to the audition and being met with the same response. The thing I have realized is that the Court only likes their friends, and really, wouldn't know good drag if it walked up and teased out their ratty wigs. I suppose that pride also had a bit to do with my lack of getting into the shows here... I hate just getting up there doing a number (I have often said I feel like those dancing chickens at the old circuses) my home is on a microphone, I am funny and work an audience well... that is hard to do while moving your mouth to other peoples music.

Anyway, I would like to believe I am not nervous about this, but I am petrified. I was relieved when Tony told me he would be there, and lord knows I have enlisted everyone I know to be there so that I have a support group should something horrible happen (like having a wig fall off or falling down) and when the number is over, they will SCREAM!!! I have also gotten some great support from people who don't even know me, but have seen me or seen my picture and really want me to succeed. So even though I know it will go great, I don't want to let anyone down, least of all myself.

WOW! Can we say RUDE!!!!

I was just chatting on gay.com saying Aloha to some of my friends, and trying to make some new ones. This guy had this picture that was really cool, it was taken from directly above his head and he was looking up at the lens. I decided I would do what I always do when I like something...tell the person responsible. This is the conversation:

Me: Hey there, I just wanted to say I thought your picture was great
Dickhead: Thanks, I wish I could say the same about yours
Me: In the future a simple thank you would suffice.
Dickhead: In that case, fine, Thank You.
Me: Yourwelcome, have a great night

Now at which point did it become ok for people to be dickheads when receiving a compliment (I would understand had I said "wow youre really hot, wanna fuck?" and continued to pester him, but don't be a dick after a simple compliment. GRRR... these gays give me gas.

So today I was doing my daily blog read (I only read a few blogs on a regular basis, otherwise, I click the "next blog" button and can pass hours reading total strangers views on the world), and I got to Cincyterp's blog. Some history about Cincyterp: He is this really cute guy in Cincinnati that I have talked to on gay.com a few times, who one day sent me a private message saying that he liked reading my blog (up to that point I actually kinda forgot people actually read this thing)and he gave me the link to his blog. (you can read CincyTerps blog here)

Anyway, his is one that I read on a regular basis now, basically cuz he is really funny and we have similar views on the world. His post today was about Canadian Thanksgiving, and he posted a list of things he is thankful for in his life. I thought it was really great and decided to be a total copycat and do the same thing. So here is my list of things I am thankful for in my life:

1. My Life: As you probably know, I have had some pretty amazing luck when it comes to my health. I know that someone was watching out for me.
2. My friends: I have never lived in one place for very long, and everywhere I go I have managed to make some really amazing friends that have made the adjustment of living in a new place much easier.
3. My Family: On the whole, I have a really great, loving and accepting family. I would certainly not be who I am without their education.
4. My Brothers: I have said it many times, but my fraternity has saved my life more than once. There are several brothers who I am really close to (a few that I talk to at least once a day on the phone) and some that I don't talk to nearly as much as I would like.
5. Tony: Tony is unique in that he doesn't quite fit into any of the above catagories, he is so much more than a friend to me; and though he seems like my family, he's not; and even though I don't know of another person who is not a Brother of my fraternity who embodies all of the things that my brotherhood holds dear, he is not one of my brothers. He is simply Tony. He has taught me so much in a year. We both believe that people are here for a reason, a season, or for life. I hope our friendship is everlasting.
6. Freedoms: I am so thankful for the fact that I have the ability to say or write anything I want on here, or anywhere (within reason... They still get testy if you scream BOMB! on an airplane)
7. Lack of Freedoms: I am thankful for the rights that I don't have yet. They empower me to incite change in the world I live in.
8. Travel: I have been so lucky to have traveled so much, I have gotten the opportunity to meet so many different types of people and experience so many cultures, and each has shaped me into who I am today.
9. My past: While I am not by any means proud of some of the things I have done or that have happened to me, I love what they have all taught me. Each event in my life has made me a better person today.
10. My job: Even though I may bitch about it, I am very thankful that I have a job in an industry where they are not easy to come by. So many people are without work or working for such low money they can barely survive, I am lucky.
11. finally, My dreams: I am so thankful that I have my dreams and ambitions to drive me forward and encourage me to keep going even when my life is a mess.

I am sure there are about a billion things that I missed, but these are the most important to me right now. CincyTerp, I am sorry that I am a copycat, but they say imitation is the highest form of flattery...

Won't you meet me in Montana... I wanna see the mountains in your eyes....

So i am in Helena, MT right now for work... My computer keeps crashing.... and it is 745 in the morning. I just went on a short hike up Mt. Helena. I watched the sunrise, saw a few deer, spooked up a couple of Bunnies, and decided it was too cold for me to sit up there waxing sentimental any longer... it was time to get back to the hotel for a cup of hot chocolate. Let me tell you the people that live up here know the importance of hot chocolate, and know how to make it right... none of this swiss miss crap. I mean full on "excuse me while I heat the milk and melt the chocolate" kind of hot chocolate. Naturally I had to have a big giant marshmallow plopped right in the middle. The best part was drinking it next to the largest fireplace I have ever seen in my gay life!!!

This is one of those places where when I get rich, I would love to buy several thousand acres and have a lovely ranch for vacation purposes, retirement purposes later, naturally. Anyway, those that know me, know that I envoke the word God very rarely... mostly cuz I am figuring out what it all means... but if ever there was a God's Country, this is it. If you have never been up this way, I suggest you get up here and enjoy it, before it is all gone.

By the way, I forgot to tell you all, "B" did call. He joined me and Skippie out at the Yadda Club. We had a nice time, but I gotta tell you I am concerned. Tony was telling me that he doesn't think he has changed at all. That makes me really nervous, cuz I don't want to be with someone that I don't fully trust. I believe if you will steal from your best friend, you will certainly have no problem stealing from your trick/guy your dating/boyfriend. I am a living example of people growing and changing, and I know that I should probably just give him a chance.... I will keep you updated.

Responsibilities...

I don't like em... nobody likes em, but we all have em. The one thing that I was taught as a kid, go out and party like a rock star, but get your ass to work the next morning. Last night, as you can see by the pictures, I went out to party like a rock star. I was definately the Belle Of The Ball. I went with Skippie and we had a great time. Skippie was trying to get me to call in sick to work, but I kept saying no. As he was carting me home, he said he would pick me up and take me to work in the morning, so I didn't have to leave my house so early to take the bus. The problem with the bus system here is that they run once an hour, so if you miss the one you need, you are gonna be waiting for another hour. Needless to say, we got home at 3am, and by the time I got my face washed and everything, it was 4am. Skippie said to call him early so he could pick me up. So at 7am, I put on a smiley voice and tried Skippie... and it just rang and rang till the Voicemail system picked up. That process repeated itself until about 3 minutes ago at 8am. I am due to work at 8:20am. I missed my bus that I had to take at 7:05am. Now, even though I got up and ready for work, I have had to shirk part of my responsibilities, all cuz I was partying too late and too lazy to get up early to take the bus.

I am of course mad at Skippie, but at the end of the day, it was my responsibility to get to work, not his. This is what happens when you rely too heavily on others, when you can just as well do the job yourself. grumble.

Tony did a great job on me last night!!! 

hello pretty face 

I almost forgot!!!

I kissed a boy last night!

I went out to sing karaoke with Skippie, and we were having a good time, getting tore up, as ya do. When out of nowhere, at quarter to 2 in the morning, in walks Michael and Brandon, and Mary (Michaels mom). You will remember Brandon from a previous blog installment, when he surprised the fuck out of me and asked me to dinner. Anyway, we all hung out till the bar closed and Brandon and Michael and Mary offered to give me a ride home. Naturally I ditched Skippie (ok, I didn't really ditch him, I told him I was going to catch a ride with them, since my place is on their way and its not on his... not totally true, but Skippie isn't that bright). When we pulled up to my building, Brandon got out of the car as well, to walk me inside... What a gentleman (I konw it is all an act, but a lady is still easily impressed) Anyway, as we were walking, he said he would call to hang out today, cuz we are both off... as I was turning to walk up the stairs... BAM! He laid a kiss on me! This boy is full of surprises. Anyway, we'll see if he calls, its still really early.

WOW!!! My room is mess!!!

I am very disappointed in myself, I spent so much time cleaning my room last week or whenever it was (I have slept since then)... For days, it looked really great! I was even ready to show it to a boy or 6. Then something happened. I am not sure exactly what it was, but I went off the deep end. I was HORRIBLY irresponsible with my finances from my last paycheck, and my room became a place that even pigs would have trouble calling home. I suppose the short answer is I am depressed about something, but I don't know what exactly. I mean I know the standard dating issues have definately sent me on a roller-coaster, but I don't think that in itself is enough to cause all of this (or maybe it is, I dunno), I know that I am not happy with my job... I have been working on my resume and cover letter for weeks, but there again, a task that I have started but can't seem to finish. I have been crazy busy with a ton of fraternity stuff, but I think I am just going through the motions with that. The day before yesterday, I let my cellphone die, so that I didn't have to talk to anyone, but then when I got home, Tony was in a really good mood (well, not really, he was screaming at the tv, while watching the VP debate... it was more that it was very entertaining for me to watch him turn bright red and scream at an inanimate object) Either way, he cheered me up a bit and I definately felt better about my situation after our talk. He has been seeing his boyfriend for over a month now, but I don't know anything about him... For some reason Tony is not sharing much info on him. I am not sure that his bf cares for me much, well I don't know that he doesn't, but he has not said more than 3 words to me in the few times we have met... I suppose he could just be shy. I just want to give him the friendly Orkan greeting of Nanoo Nanoo, so that he realizes I mean no harm, that I am not going anywhere, and most importantly, I just wanna know the guy one of my closest friends is dating is a nice guy... So, "Ron" if you are out there, NANOO NANOO!!!

It was yesterday!! It was Yesterday!!!

So I had a great day at Kings Island yesterday... mostly cuz I was having a great time with Tony, Skippie, Chris, Shawn, and Rick. The last three, I met for the first time at the park...they are friends of Skippie. The rides were lots of fun, although the park is REALLY poorly done...which is too bad cuz it has SO much potential. They need to hire a gay to overhaul it.

After KI, we decided to go out... Started at Shooters, where I had no desire to be cuz of the Court... The Guy was there, he came up and gave me a hug, and I may have behaved a little cold... OK, a lot cold. I didn't really mean to, I mean, it wasn't my intent, as I was leaving I said something like "maybe you can call me sometime" I didn't mean that he should call for a date or anything, although I wouldn't mind if he did... he was really hot, and a sweet guy... I just meant that he should call and talk to me. I am a pretty cool guy, and if something happened that made you decide you weren't interested just call and say so. Don't ignore me, and then when you see me out act like nothing is up... that is insulting. Anyway, while at Shooters, we ran into Tony's friends, Brandon and Michael. They were teasing me cuz I wasn't with Guy (they had seen him making out with me at the Dock), and like 2 weeks prior they had come over to the apartment and had met MH, so they are like its nearly a new week, time for a trade in... Which was kinda funny cuz in the year and a half I have been here, I have had a more active dating life in the last 2 months than I have had the entire time I have been here. Anyway, Brandon said "now that you are finally single, could I ask you to dinner?" I was kinda shocked and didn't know what to say. He is cute and all, but there is some background with him and Tony that makes me nervous. Brandon made some bad decisions with his friendship with Tony a long time ago, and Tony has only recently been able to forgive him. Needless to say, until recently I heard bad things about him, so I approach it all with a very sceptical mind... But I don't think Tony would let me go out with him if he thought Brandon hadn't changed. Anyway, I told him to give me a call, and I would love to go out to dinner (I mean really, I can ALWAYS eat!)

I feel like that little kid on the DisneyWorld commercial... "It's today! It's Today!!" when he gets all excited cuz its the day he gets to go to Disney.

Today (well, later tonight), I get to go ride all the rides with the gays at the amusement park!!! I should not be so excited, cuz the very nature of the outing brings its own host of problems... Like what to wear!!! You have to look cute, but what you wear has to be practical... warm, and stain resistant, just in case the drag queen sitting in front of you on "The Beast" decides to throw up on you, or that pretty muscle boy accidentally spills his cosmo down your shirt! Shoes have to be cute and match the outfit, but comfortable enough to walk between the beer garden, drag show, roller coaster, AND cotton candy vendor about 10,000 times. Cologne, must me strong enough to last the entire evening, subtle enough that you don't smell like a french whore, but pungent enough to break through the smell of funnel cakes, so that you can get the hotties attention away from the food. I think I will go give myself a facial and stuff and begin on my day of amusement park beauty.