GOOD MORNING!!!

Its been a few days since I have posted, but not a lot has been going on. I tried to go to LA the other day for the frat, but the flights wound up being full. Oh well, I really couldn't afford the trip anyway. While I was in DC over Valentines Day, I totally overspent my allowance for the last half of the month... I totally forgot about my car payment. DOH! On the way home from DC, I had a planeful of 13 year olds. This trip was proof positive why more people should eat their young. I truly have a new respect for teachers in todays world.

I have recently been chatting away on gay.com... thats something I don't usually do, because my saturation level for people is usually near it limits. But I decided it would not hurt to be a bit more social. My screen name on there is yngPOZcentaur, and my bio clearly states that I am not looking for a hookup. It never fails someplace in the first 5 minutes of a chat with someone, they want to know if I am a bottom or top. Now I generally dont mind answering these questions, if I am looking to play, but I usually humor them. One man went as far as to ask, I answered, and he said great, are you clean? now my original response was "yes, I just got out of the shower, and am all douched up... I am never a dirty fuck" he aparently didn't get my humor, and said "I mean are you disease free?" To which I replied what part of yngPOZcentaur are you not getting, not to mention it is all over my profile. He apologized and said he could fuck with poz guys, again I replied "your in luck, cuz I can't fuck stupid people". The next one that really got me was the guy that said "he, I just wanted to say I'm sorry" well, being a true glutton for punishment, I had to ask why he was sorry "I am sorry that you are HIV+ and just wanted to try to make you feel better". I am really glad he mentioned all of that, cuz I hadn't realized I had been feeling bad, and certainly him telling me everything was going to be ok, made me feel much better. In fact I had been waiting for a complete stranger to tell me that, so I could get on with living. I wonder where most of these people get their manners. At which point does it become ok to open a conversation with a total stranger with comments like that.

Quickly realizing my job in life is not to educate the chatting public on manners I just ignore these fools, and hope that someday they will realize how stupid they sound.

On other fronts, the boys are nearing their final, and I had some concerns about whether they are ready for brotherhood. I constantly have to remind myself that we (the mentors) are not a chapter bringing in a pledge class, because if so everything we would be doing is qualitative, not quantitative. These guys threw a fundraiser together at the last minute with the intention of just getting it done. Which just hurt themselves... most of these guys can't afford some of the fee's that they are required to have before they can become brothers. The other point that really got me was that there are 7 of these 17 whom, I have never even spoken to. That is a major problem to me, in that I don't think they have fulfilled their commitments to become brothers... by ignoring me, a brother, they are not sending a clear message to me that they have got "it". This situation caused me to get very upset, and caused Andrew and I to argue, which is something that we never do. Andrew basically said that I was out of sight out of mind, and that I am not available like the other mentors... a very true statement, I am not physically around them much, but I email the group often, give them alternatives to phoning me and make myself available at all times for them. My concern is if I am out of site out of mind, how are they going to treat alumni down the road... how are they going to be treated when they graduate and move on... are they going to forget they have brothers. Clay, who is their president, just got accepted to his study abroad semester, are they going to not be in contact with him because he is out of sight out of mind. Then the straw that broke the camels back... a few of the pledges requested that the mentors not attend the rush event on Friday night at Dream. I have known Andrew for a while now, and i have seen him upset, and I have even seen him a little angry...but he reached new levels with this request. Now the boys seem to be coming back with some stories that sound like bullshit to me "what we meant was we want you guys at our events... someone misunderstood and communicated the wrong message to you" or "we just don't want you guys doing it for us" which is trying to pin the blame on the mentors... the fact is, the event is being held at a nightclub, some of them planned on drinking and didn't want the mentors there because they knew all hell would break loose for underage drinking...and they were right, it would have. I know I have a ton of them clammoring to get their interviews done with me, because of points they will miss out on. Now, instead of using the interview to get to know me, they are doing it because it is an assignment. I am granting the interviews, as long as I have time, but generally feel like now they are on my time. As Andrew said, its too bad that some of them have overlooked me as a resource. I think it is too bad some didn't take the time to get to know me as a friend. I think I am kind of cool
Well, enough drivel for now, I will write more as I think of it...