WOW, it has been nearly a week since I have posted anything... I am sorry it has taken me so long. I have been in Kansas, where apparently they don't believe in computers. Needless to say we have a lot of catching up to do.

First off, on the fraternity front. Not much has happened as of late, I kind of feel shitty cuz I haven't really been in touch with my boys. I tried calling all of them on Sunday, but my phone was screwing up, so much so that there was a misunderstanding and they thought I was in Boulder!! Lawd I wish I had been. I love spending time with my mom and shit, but Kansas really is a shit hole. Geoff seems to be doing ok, its funny he keeps looking for love in all the wrong places (sounds like a bad country song). Its so hard to explain that it will come to him soon enough. He is such a nice boy and cute on top of that... I would hate to see him just give it up to any boy that casts a glance his way. He is worth so much more than that.

Jeff...he is a giggling fool... But you gotta love him. I tried to call on sunday and my phone was so ghetto. He just giggled the whole time, he couldn't hear a word I was fucking saying and just giggled through a one sided conversation... Anyway he called me back the next day and assured me that all was good in his world. I just got all caught up on his comic that I missed while I was gone. He is one twisted boy... awww, like big like lil.

Tony... I don't hear much from Tony at all, I certainly hope that he is in contact with his Surrogate. It sucks that I can't be there for them all more, but especially for Tony who is really looking for something specific from this pledge process... I certainly hope I have the ability to mold and shape him even without being in constant contact. When I was pledging DLP, my big bro and I never hung out once. All of our contact was on the phone... luckily I was close to other brothers that took me under their wing. And in Sig Ep, the bonds that I made there with my big bro really are still very strong, we still keep in touch.

On the home front: Last week, I was put in a position I never want to be put in again. I had to ask Dubya to leave my house. He started moping around and when he curled up in a ball on the couch and started wailing because Tony and I were going out to do something together, I was finished. Tony came into the drag room and had to sit down in order to keep from getting so angry that he hit him. I didn't realize what was going on until I went to investigate. I had laid out the ground rules about staying here, and that Tony was allowing him to stay here as a favor to me, not to him. I refuse to allow another person, brother or not, make me or my room mate uncomfortable in our own house. He got really upset and I had to leave or I would have caved... Lord knows I am a softy and have NO desire to see someone hurt or struggle. But I strongly believe that by not forcing him to help himself, I was part of the problem. Tony came back from Lexington on Sunday to find Dubya in my bedroom. He had snuck in while we were gone and was kind of hiding out. He begged Tony to let him stay and begged Tony for money... Tony stood his ground and did not allow either. I guess Tony saw him Monday night at a meeting for the Royal Court, and all seemed fine. But on Tuesday there was a message on our phone from his job, he did not show up to work and he was not welcome to return.

God I hope he is doing ok, and that he didn't do something stupid. He has attempted suicide before, I just pray that he didn't find that to be the only option. I don't know that I could handle that weight on my shoulders.

Thats all for now... I will write more soon...