So, it has been nearly a month since I posted last... I am not sure why I have been so bad about writing on a regular basis. I suppose I just find myself doing other things and just procrastinating on this...anyway, I am sorry, here is the latest dose of my world...

A couple weeks ago, after having still not had any sexual relations with Chris (the boy that I had been seeing for about 3 weeks), I decided I would ask the question (basically the question that says "what the fuck"). He had become really distant, and I knew something was up, but he was not looking to talk about it. So it was clear the only way to figure out the trouble was to push the issue. So I finally cornered him on the phone while I was on an overnight to ask if there was a problem...he played stupid, like there was nothing wrong with the direction our relationship was going (for the record, I FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT!!! DON'T PLAY STUPID WITH ME!!!) I explained to him how I had come to the conclusion that something was wrong... he then cracked and said I was absolutely right there was some stuff on his mind that was bothering him about us... again I pressed the issue to get him to tell me. everyone hold tight, here comes the surprise of the century!!! He was concerned about the HIV issue. No real shock there for me, but I told him to take some time and figure out what he wanted to do. Two weeks pass and still no communication from him, so I decide to give him a call, because I believe I at least deserve to hear (or even read) the words and maybe even an explanation. He said (again after much pushing) that we should have dinner together to talk, and he would give me a call. Again I waited about 3 days and saw him online and decided to move in for the kill. Anyway, after much beating around the bush I got him to finally say that he just couldn't get around the HIV issue (again, not a huge surprise here, but I did feel I deserved to read it at least)

Sunday, I was out with Tony and saw this guy that I have had a crush on for a while... I just assumed he was never interested. Needless to say we hung out at the bar that evening and things were pretty cool...again nothing to write home about but any glimmer of hope is better than none. I gave him my number, but he has yet to use it... I don't really expect him to actually. I think it may have just been the alcohol working overtime.