So I had a good nights sleep, I totally feel like a new man. The whole weekend I was in Boulder I didn't sleep so well... it totally helps that I have the most comfortable bed in the universe (except my room mates).

I had a few great conversations with colonists and a nice one with Geoff... It seems he asked a boy out, but the guy said no. He didn't seem to be heartbroken over it, which is really a good thing. When I was his age I didn't do rejection well. Who am I kidding, I don't do rejection well now, hence the reason I don't talk to boys. But seriously, it didn't take much rejection for me to become more than a little bitter and jaded... I am glad he is doing better than I would be.

Geoff brought up some great questions in his blog about injustice from a friend, and about passions...I wish I was better at this blog thing so I could post a comment about his post on his blog (maybe I will work on that later) but in the meantime, I have some things to say about his comments. Geoff was asked what constitutes an injustice from a friend... Now I don't know the boy that he asked out well enough to know what he was getting at when he asked Geoff this question, but for me, the question is very unclear. We each have levels of tolerance for things our friends do. For the most part, we know what they are going to do and how they are going to react, many times that is a founding reason that we have become friends in the first place. I wonder if the injustice that Geoffs love interest was talking about was more that he thought of Geoff as a friend and hadn't really considered anything more...Geoff rather boldly asked if he was interested... apparently not something this boy was expecting. It would seem that maybe he is worried about losing the friendship now that this subject was breached. I certainly don't see that happening, Geoff is a bit too committed to his friendships to let that happen I think.

Passions - Geoff asked about passions, and suggested that maybe he has mellowed beyond passion. I can attest that is certainly not the case. But the question forced me to examine some of my own passions, but also what constitutes a passion. I realized that the way I define passion, I only have one: relationships. Before you start thinking i am some kind of relationship whore, I should explain what I mean by that... I mean relationships with friends, with family, and even with total strangers. My passion is building stronger bonds with these people, my passion is contributing a positive change to peoples lives, my passion is doing my best to be a better person for other people everyday, in turn making me more satisfied with life. I of course occassionally make mistakes, sometimes I do things that don't follow this plan, sometimes I hurt people that I would never intend to, but I try to learn from the situation and correct the problem as soon as possible. Just as someone passionate about music might play a wrong note while playing their favorite piano concerto...nothing you can do, you can't undo what you have already played, only learn from it and try to keep it from happening again. I think that one of the reasons I have decided to go back to school full time to get my degrees in poly sci and law, is to better able myself to effectively change the world around me and protect people that are not able to do so themselves. I want to better peoples lives who otherwise would never know I was alive. I want to insure that generations of people after me have basic civil rights and protections that we all are intitled to, thus building better relationships with the world.

One of the colonists messaged me last night and was afraid that he had let me down because of some very minor (in the grand scheme of things) incidents over the weekend. I put him at ease by reminding him the same thing that I say to anyone... if I am angry, you will know. As my roomie says, "my name is not Victoria, there are no secrets here" I suppose if there were I would not have this journal. Whats funny is that he has no idea exactly how much like me when I was pledging that he is. All of these guys are so afraid of letting us down, and I think they don't realize we are all afraid we are going to let them down.

On the homefront, my frat brother Dubya (his real name is Chris, but I like the nickname better) has been out of a job for a while, by his own doing I should add. He was dating my room mate for a short period (8 weeks if you ask him, 6 weeks if you ask my room mate). They broke up a few weeks ago and Dubya has been acting stupid the whole time (like crying non stop and making himself throw up, kind of stupid)... Now I love my room mate, he is one of my favorite people in the world and truly one of my dearest friends, but NO ONE is worth all that. Anyway, Dubya has no money, like not just broke, but literally NO money... so I asked Tony if he would mind if I offered Dubya to stay in my room while I was gone on vacation, to save him the gas of driving all the way out to BFE where he lives. Tony said he would only do it for me, and that if he acts stupid he is not going to be very nice to him... I offered Dubya the room, and laid out the ground rules. Basically, if you think you are going to mope around or worse yet, cry, then go to my room and shut the door. Dont make Tony uncomfortable in his own home. So whats he do? He starts crying when he asks Tony if they can talk about their relationship (something he was strictly forbidden to do) Now Tony definately seem uncaring, in fact, he came to the realization that he lacks empathy... Tony let Dubya have it, I think some things were said that were not very nice, but apparently it worked... it seems that Dubya has to be screamed at to get through to him. I don't mind helping people out, especially a brother, there is nothing I wouldn't do to help... but you have to be helping yourself. Dubya is being evicted from his apartment (he has till the 31st of Jan. to get out) but he is not doing anything to find another place or to get his stuff together. I am finding that I don't really care... I have no sympathy for him, because he is not doing anything to resolve the situation. I dunno, I don't want to see him go homeless, but god damn, why help someone who doesn't have the self-respect to help themselves... brother or not.

I suppose I have written WAY too much... no one likes to read these long entries, but I sure do feel better when they are done... Thanks for listening